








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 353 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1961 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1070 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1094 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1402 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $821,259 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 322 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cadaveri | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | mirbs | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Pete | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Plantse | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | joncholi | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rozé | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Vesuri | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ★LiQu_ | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | TITTAANIKISSA | 1 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ★Krys | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plantse | 151 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #2 | SamBox. | 87 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Rozé | 73 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | joncholi | 49 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vesuri | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vesuri | +4.72 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | Quick2Delete | +3.94 | 89 | 73 |
| #3 | MakkaraMasa | +1.39 | 81 | 57 |
| #4 | TITTAANIKISSA | +1.04 | 55 | 77 |
| #5 | Plantse | +1.03 | 62 | 78 |





