








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1018 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 366 matches | ||
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Esplay | 47 matches | 2,017 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11290 | 32% |
| Smokes | 9843 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6530 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7732 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,546,541 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rdy Nikke | 70% | 79 |
| #2 | PAJIS | 69% | 110 |
| #3 | Nakkiorava | 66% | 125 |
| #4 | 원카리 | 66% | 41 |
| #5 | LQ- | 65% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | $nipa | 56% | 147 |
| #14 | Eepis | 56% | 87 |
| #15 | Pete | 56% | 183 |
| #16 | KorpiSoturi | 56% | 77 |
| #17 | bLess | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pete | 13 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | bLess | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | joncholi | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | $nipa | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | PAJIS | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rottis | 961 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | $nipa | 694 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | LQ- | 605 | 0.35 | 17 min |
| #4 | Nakkiorava | 574 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #5 | Pete | 530 | 0.14 | 15 min |





