








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 524 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




182 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2636 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3308 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3633 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3736 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,669,837 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ Miix | 56% | 160 |
| #6 | DubbelV8 | 56% | 117 |
| #7 | TuffinToks | 54% | 192 |
| #8 | Tøxic | 52% | 556 |
| #9 | ツ Flipflop ツ | 48% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tøxic | 112 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | TuffinToks | 47 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | ✪ Miix | 39 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | ツ Flipflop ツ | 38 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | Sand3rH | 37 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TuffinToks | 1237 | 0.32 | 29 min |
| #2 | Tøxic | 911 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| #3 | ✪ Miix | 712 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #4 | DubbelV8 | 425 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | Sand3rH | 412 | 0.09 | 11 min |





