








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1024 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1433 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1379 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $518,859 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Protato | 68% | 47 |
| #2 | Maksiu | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | Connor | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Krecik | 61% | 76 |
| #5 | Fernando Martinez | 59% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Krecik | 61% | 76 |
| #5 | Fernando Martinez | 59% | 59 |
| #6 | Crimson | 59% | 39 |
| #7 | Zach | 57% | 53 |
| #8 | Jas3ąb | 53% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jas3ąb | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Fernando Martinez | 9 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Maksiu | 8 | 0.0121 |
| #4 | Krecik | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jas3ąb | 521 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | Krecik | 495 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #3 | Zach | 198 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Fernando Martinez | 177 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Protato | 166 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rosci | +2.41 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Zach | +1.40 | 84 | 77 |
| #3 | Krecik | +0.95 | 79 | 76 |
| #4 | Protato | +0.76 | 78 | 67 |
| #5 | Connor | +0.28 | 71 | 68 |





