








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 721 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5724 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8648 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8428 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8675 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,780,749 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1999 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakarikaulaote | 58% | 73 |
| #2 | NakkiS | 49% | 111 |
| #3 | pauli gerberos | 45% | 120 |
| #4 | Heji | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | nobo | 40% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Heji | 44% | 73 |
| #5 | nobo | 40% | 70 |
| #6 | TestoTumpsa | 39% | 41 |
| #7 | Runkku | 37% | 43 |
| #8 | Weaselface | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NakkiS | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | pauli gerberos | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Runkku | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Sakarikaulaote | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | TestoTumpsa | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pauli gerberos | 298 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Weaselface | 133 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | nobo | 131 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sakarikaulaote | 127 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | NakkiS | 105 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TestoTumpsa | +2.40 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | NakkiS | +1.72 | 46 | 63 |
| #3 | Runkku | +0.58 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | pauli gerberos | +0.30 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | Dallas | -0.98 | 41 | 68 |





