








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 853 | 21% |
| Smokes | 863 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1667 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 685 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,166 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kampynis | 44% | 41 |
| #9 | tree | 40% | 42 |
| #10 | Elba dit Prettaboire | 37% | 35 |
| #11 | bean | 33% | 42 |
| #12 | Desi Hasbik | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AleksiWannaB | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | bean | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Bukkake Jones | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | tree | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | kampynis | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juzintu Berns | +2.85 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Desi Hasbik | +2.09 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | Azl | +1.33 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | tree | +0.63 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | Elba dit Prettaboire | +0.56 | 59 | 75 |





