








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Renown | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,963 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2335 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1215 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2028 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,025 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ths | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Elba dit Prettaboire | 54% | 72 |
| #3 | Juzintu Berns | 46% | 70 |
| #4 | ABC | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | Desi Hasbik | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | AleksiWannaB | 34% | 131 |
| #12 | Azl | 33% | 42 |
| #13 | Bukkake Jones | 33% | 60 |
| #14 | tree | 30% | 56 |
| #15 | Sleeping Hasbulla | 27% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AleksiWannaB | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Bukkake Jones | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | Sleeping Hasbulla | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | kampynis | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Juzintu Berns | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AleksiWannaB | 293 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Elba dit Prettaboire | 203 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Juzintu Berns | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sleeping Hasbulla | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | tree | 122 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badnews | +4.32 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | Desi Hasbik | +2.59 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | Juzintu Berns | +2.59 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Elba dit Prettaboire | +1.78 | 61 | 79 |
| #5 | tree | +1.75 | 64 | 57 |





