








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
698 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 951 | 30% |
| Smokes | 938 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 881 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 379 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,180 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Axlekansder | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Exi | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | SparWen | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Benim | 56% | 50 |
| #5 | hampush' | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | yard | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | Juan | 45% | 11 |
| #11 | PHallina | 33% | 6 |
| #12 | CRASiSWE | 33% | 24 |
| #13 | Osterstrom | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benim | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Hira | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | hampush' | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Axlekansder | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Osterstrom | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benim | 245 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | CRASiSWE | 159 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hira | 129 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | SparWen | 105 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | hampush' | 54 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yard | +5.63 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | Exi | +4.05 | 93 | 60 |
| #3 | r3ijv3nn | +2.03 | 69 | 80 |
| #4 | Axlekansder | +1.36 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | RobbaN | +1.07 | 81 | 37 |





