








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3060 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4124 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3335 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 995 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 2715 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,496 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gabbient | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | Lo_Siento | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Käsmeister | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Duat | 60% | 196 |
| #5 | gamma_gandalph | 59% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duat | 25 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | sPurge | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | gabbient | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | LEGO, Massive Yoinker | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | gamma_gandalph | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duat | 552 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | sPurge | 470 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | gamma_gandalph | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Käsmeister | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ben | 70 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BedPleyar | +4.44 | 64 | 79 |
| #2 | Lo_Siento | +3.95 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Duat | +3.61 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | Fraxel | +2.45 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | lil dungeater #recallspurgeon | +2.35 | 78 | 59 |





