








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
601 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 18% |
| Smokes | 679 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 635 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 374 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,513 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Duat | 66% | 61 |
| #2 | sPurge | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | LEGO, Massive Yoinker | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | gabbient | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | BedPleyar | 59% | 74 |





