








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4371 | 53% |
| Smokes | 1315 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1304 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1182 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,195 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | magnso | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | TWIZZZA -iwnl- | 52% | 21 |
| #9 | H | 50% | 32 |
| #10 | Atol | 48% | 127 |
| #11 | LiLBr0methius | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atol | 10 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | LiLBr0methius | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | DoodSkoot | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | oh-my-sack | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | rex | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atol | 266 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | TWIZZZA -iwnl- | 93 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | H | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | oh-my-sack | 76 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | rex | 58 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H | +2.03 | 61 | 62 |
| #2 | LiLBr0methius | +1.55 | 60 | 18 |
| #3 | Saggy Dongers | +1.17 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | rex | +0.64 | 44 | 79 |
| #5 | Konstabel Henk | +0.55 | 46 | 20 |





