








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 359 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1001 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 23% |
| Smokes | 231 | 7% |
| HE Grenades | 1433 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 895 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,905 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoodSkoot | 56% | 290 |
| #2 | Konstabel Henk | 53% | 91 |
| #3 | Atol | 51% | 678 |
| #4 | oh-my-sack | 51% | 444 |
| #5 | Spoegies | 48% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Konstabel Henk | 53% | 91 |
| #3 | Atol | 51% | 678 |
| #4 | oh-my-sack | 51% | 444 |
| #5 | Spoegies | 48% | 150 |
| #6 | Saggy Dongers | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atol | 40 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | DoodSkoot | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | oh-my-sack | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Saggy Dongers | 15 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Spoegies | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atol | 1779 | 0.13 | 44 min |
| #2 | oh-my-sack | 1067 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #3 | Saggy Dongers | 778 | 0.43 | 20 min |
| #4 | DoodSkoot | 568 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Spoegies | 160 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiLBr0methius | +1.50 | 69 | 19 |
| #2 | Atol | +0.86 | 60 | 50 |
| #3 | DoodSkoot | +0.80 | 58 | 63 |
| #4 | Saggy Dongers | +0.43 | 72 | 68 |
| #5 | Konstabel Henk | -0.61 | 42 | 25 |





