








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 223 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1300 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1513 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1928 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1451 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,158 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jb1zzle | 61% | 84 |
| #2 | Jersey Wick | 57% | 263 |
| #3 | Dome | 54% | 222 |
| #4 | Rosa Parks | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | Willy B | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jb1zzle | 61% | 84 |
| #2 | Jersey Wick | 57% | 263 |
| #3 | Dome | 54% | 222 |
| #4 | Rosa Parks | 45% | 73 |
| #5 | Willy B | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jb1zzle | 40 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | Dome | 36 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Jersey Wick | 25 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Rosa Parks | 8 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Willy B | 8 | 0.0185 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dome | 693 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | Jersey Wick | 448 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rosa Parks | 228 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | jb1zzle | 109 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Willy B | 63 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jersey Wick | +4.33 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | jb1zzle | +3.93 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | Willy B | +0.79 | 57 | 46 |
| #4 | Dome | -0.54 | 58 | 73 |
| #5 | FLippy B | -1.43 | 40 | 50 |





