








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2362 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2771 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2836 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2041 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $880,482 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | ☂ OneSlin | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | no peek | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | hyouka | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | HOLZi | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOLZi | 180 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Septer | 171 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | sliN | 163 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Friesports | 160 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stev1eH | 132 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Erosive | +5.75 | 92 | 64 |
| #2 | ☂ OneSlin | +3.97 | 95 | 39 |
| #3 | sliN | +3.96 | 91 | 74 |
| #4 | hyouka | +3.06 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | no peek | +1.40 | 88 | 69 |





