








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 18% |
| Smokes | 306 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 705 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 635 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $123,382 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gear 5th Slim | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | COMMAND GRAB | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Amba T.ukum | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | De'Coldest Crawford | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Young Birk | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | De'Coldest Crawford | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Young Birk | 42% | 38 |
| #6 | FrostyOsti☪ | 41% | 29 |
| #7 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 40% | 43 |
| #8 | komcy | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | komcy | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Young Birk | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | COMMAND GRAB | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 92 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | komcy | 61 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Young Birk | 56 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | COMMAND GRAB | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gear 5th Slim | +2.80 | 65 | 70 |
| #2 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | +1.90 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Young Birk | +0.10 | 63 | 39 |
| #4 | FrostyOsti☪ | -0.59 | 59 | 52 |
| #5 | HH-1N | -0.64 | 51 | 63 |





