








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
798 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 388 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1278 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 780 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 739 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,142 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amba T.ukum | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | Young Birk | 52% | 54 |
| #4 | komcy | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | komcy | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 51% | 41 |
| #6 | COMMAND GRAB | 50% | 46 |
| #7 | HH-1N | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | Gear 5th Slim | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | De'Coldest Crawford | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | komcy | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | COMMAND GRAB | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | komcy | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | COMMAND GRAB | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Young Birk | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 66 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | +2.49 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | FrostyOsti☪ | +0.58 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | Amba T.ukum | +0.46 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | COMMAND GRAB | -0.79 | 44 | 58 |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | -0.80 | 39 | 60 |





