








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 709 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,303 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5844 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8035 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6542 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4882 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,200,888 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 658 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FrostyOsti☪ | 51% | 70 |
| #2 | De'Coldest Crawford | 48% | 242 |
| #3 | Max Payne #Ballin | 48% | 313 |
| #4 | Young Birk | 47% | 313 |
| #5 | chunk | 47% | 317 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | 46% | 169 |
| #7 | COMMAND GRAB | 44% | 318 |
| #8 | Gear 5th Slim | 43% | 225 |
| #9 | Lividity | 41% | 58 |
| #10 | Daddy | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max Payne #Ballin | 31 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | chunk | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Young Birk | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | COMMAND GRAB | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 8 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chunk | 1744 | 0.26 | 51 min |
| #2 | COMMAND GRAB | 800 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #3 | Max Payne #Ballin | 570 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | Young Birk | 437 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | De'Coldest Crawford | 367 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juggin & finessin ♿ ♿ ♿ | +3.93 | 88 | 58 |
| #2 | chunk | +1.44 | 54 | 72 |
| #3 | FrostyOsti☪ | +1.32 | 66 | 50 |
| #4 | Max Payne #Ballin | +0.87 | 57 | 54 |
| #5 | Young Birk | +0.04 | 58 | 47 |





