








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1096 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1223 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1090 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 968 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $483,147 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GiZzmo <3 | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | ⋘Moris⋙ | 50% | 10 |
| #3 | Weezy | 46% | 39 |
| #4 | MaTeo | 42% | 43 |
| #5 | dexter | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dexter | 42% | 72 |
| #6 | Sexy Walter R. | 40% | 128 |
| #7 | DNA | 38% | 29 |
| #8 | Steasy Wonder | 38% | 24 |
| #9 | sheesh | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sexy Walter R. | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | MaTeo | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | sheesh | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ⋘Moris⋙ | 2 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Weezy | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sexy Walter R. | 637 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | MaTeo | 85 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Steasy Wonder | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | dexter | 44 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ⋘Moris⋙ | 44 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTeo | +3.65 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Steasy Wonder | +2.59 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | GiZzmo <3 | +0.71 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | ⋘Moris⋙ | +0.58 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | cl_crossfit | +0.32 | 69 | 52 |





