








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 341 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,451 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10296 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7602 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6799 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5754 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,324,264 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | MaTeo | 48% | 122 |
| #9 | DNA | 41% | 92 |
| #10 | sheesh | 41% | 76 |
| #11 | cl_crossfit | 40% | 128 |
| #12 | LukasS | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weezy | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | MaTeo | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | dexter | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | cl_crossfit | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | GiZzmo <3 | 5 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTeo | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | dexter | 219 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #3 | cl_crossfit | 212 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | caNN | 198 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | GiZzmo <3 | 185 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTeo | +3.26 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | Steasy Wonder | +2.85 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | GiZzmo <3 | +1.03 | 84 | 70 |
| #4 | ⋘Moris⋙ | +0.12 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | Weezy | -0.03 | 66 | 63 |





