








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 140 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2252 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3027 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2847 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2099 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,647,671 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTeo | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Weezy | 50% | 126 |
| #3 | Sexy Walter R. | 50% | 325 |
| #4 | cl_crossfit | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTeo | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Weezy | 50% | 126 |
| #3 | Sexy Walter R. | 50% | 325 |
| #4 | cl_crossfit | 42% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sexy Walter R. | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Weezy | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | cl_crossfit | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MaTeo | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sexy Walter R. | 1663 | 0.25 | 51 min |
| #2 | Weezy | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | cl_crossfit | 112 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | MaTeo | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaTeo | +4.09 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | cl_crossfit | +0.79 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | Sexy Walter R. | +0.34 | 63 | 82 |
| #4 | Weezy | +0.19 | 72 | 60 |
| #5 | dexter | -0.26 | 74 | 52 |





