








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,020 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10291 | 35% |
| Smokes | 7642 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6087 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5000 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,606 of utility $55 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5041 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epex | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | tiirikka v2 | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | HyneXz | 55% | 112 |
| #4 | Umberto Valenti | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Sippe | 51% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epex | 59% | 37 |
| #2 | tiirikka v2 | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | HyneXz | 55% | 112 |
| #4 | Umberto Valenti | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Sippe | 51% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sippe | 23 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | HyneXz | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Epex | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | tiirikka v2 | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Umberto Valenti | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sippe | 1382 | 0.26 | 43 min |
| #2 | HyneXz | 374 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Umberto Valenti | 148 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Epex | 114 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | tiirikka v2 | 61 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epex | +2.47 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | HyneXz | +2.39 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | נαℓℓυρєυяα | +1.21 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | tiirikka v2 | +0.92 | 42 | 55 |
| #5 | Sippe | -0.32 | 58 | 69 |





