








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 140 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 33 matches | ||
| Esplay | 25 matches | 1,902 | |
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 381 | 4% |
| Smokes | 1095 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 3148 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 4200 | 48% |
Our logs show you have wasted $722,896 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oreojohn1 | 70% | 40 |
| #2 | kk___ | 68% | 316 |
| #3 | bigzip | 67% | 79 |
| #4 | Gangsta Duck | 67% | 246 |
| #5 | Snooze | 65% | 405 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | bigzip | 67% | 79 |
| #4 | Gangsta Duck | 67% | 246 |
| #5 | Snooze | 65% | 405 |
| #6 | kjetil1881 | 58% | 24 |
| #7 | Sponslærken | 57% | 183 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kk___ | 46 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | Gangsta Duck | 29 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Snooze | 25 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Sponslærken | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | kjetil1881 | 11 | 0.0240 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gangsta Duck | 767 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | kk___ | 711 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #3 | Snooze | 445 | 0.06 | 14 min |
| #4 | bigzip | 188 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sponslærken | 158 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kk___ | +4.82 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Snooze | +2.25 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Gangsta Duck | +1.17 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | McFee :3 | +0.97 | 62 | 24 |
| #5 | kjetil1881 | +0.21 | 71 | 55 |





