








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1619 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1401 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,259 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jomppe | 92% | 13 |
| #2 | TITTAANIKISSA | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | M1xu | 65% | 46 |
| #4 | koupe | 63% | 72 |
| #5 | vede | 61% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | TokuToku | 53% | 32 |
| #14 | M.Y.S.T.O | 53% | 17 |
| #15 | Cadaveri | 48% | 23 |
| #16 | HANNU | 33% | 18 |
| #17 | Mil | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calgy | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | M1xu | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | CraX | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | c̶o̶c̶o̶♡ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | M.Y.S.T.O | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calgy | 288 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | koupe | 237 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | SMUPPE. | 183 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | M1xu | 152 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | veljaN | 120 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1xu | +4.01 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | calgy | +2.78 | 82 | 75 |
| #3 | TITTAANIKISSA | +2.36 | 79 | 80 |
| #4 | ✪ JamBo^_^ | +1.72 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | vede | +1.63 | 69 | 61 |





