








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
668 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 30% |
| Smokes | 237 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 370 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 114 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $341,488 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Zoopals Frog | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Jester | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Beefaroni Hotdog | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Magic Clicks | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Curtis Crouse | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bear animatronic | 7 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | h0ax | 6 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | The Zoopals Frog | 3 | 0.0294 |
| #5 | Magic Clicks | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | 262 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | de_DustIIn | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | RealUseful | 57 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Jester | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chuck | 40 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drink Some Orange Juice | +4.32 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | h0ax | +2.88 | 69 | 38 |
| #3 | Curtis Crouse | +1.01 | 63 | 41 |
| #4 | Beefaroni Hotdog | +0.67 | 46 | 56 |
| #5 | de_DustIIn | +0.10 | 79 | 62 |





