








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4259 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5337 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2799 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3308 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,380,952 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 788 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | musti | 61% | 183 |
| #3 | BIGmac | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | k0walski | 59% | 75 |
| #5 | Bisse-Nisse | 58% | 93 |
| #6 | s<e.r-,fg-.aserg,.-sg,s.- | 50% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s<e.r-,fg-.aserg,.-sg,s.- | 825 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #2 | musti | 772 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #3 | Bisse-Nisse | 164 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | k0walski | 144 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | BIGmac | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |





