








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Esplay | 26 matches | 1,625 | |
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3398 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2565 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3237 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2247 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,247 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nwl | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | qwalle | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | 0hlma | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Za | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Flyman | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldManPat | 867 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #2 | Nwl | 465 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | qwalle | 336 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #4 | 0hlma | 224 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Za | 182 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nwl | +2.07 | 50 | 73 |
| #2 | qwalle | +0.98 | 48 | 83 |
| #3 | Force of Lightning | +0.96 | 50 | 74 |
| #4 | OldManPat | +0.45 | 57 | 78 |
| #5 | Mob Barley | -0.17 | 46 | 64 |





