








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Esplay | 102 matches | 1,769 | |
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,619 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3033 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2949 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3792 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2845 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,354 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VacMac | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | Kärringan | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Mob Barley | 52% | 44 |
| #4 | RaiKarD | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | qwalle | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0hlma | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | qwalle | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | OldManPat | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | Za | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | Flyman | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldManPat | 897 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #2 | Force of Lightning | 853 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | qwalle | 413 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #4 | 0hlma | 290 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Za | 267 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VacMac | +4.26 | 82 | 55 |
| #2 | Nwl | +2.12 | 52 | 72 |
| #3 | Force of Lightning | +0.95 | 50 | 75 |
| #4 | qwalle | +0.71 | 45 | 84 |
| #5 | OldManPat | +0.28 | 58 | 77 |





