








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3732 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3468 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1872 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3457 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,259 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tai-Ming | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 51% | 193 |
| #3 | Garry "Musclemouth" Gomez | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Knai-Fing | 50% | 218 |
| #5 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tai-Ming | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 51% | 193 |
| #3 | Garry "Musclemouth" Gomez | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Knai-Fing | 50% | 218 |
| #5 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knai-Fing | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Tai-Ming | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 212 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 106 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tai-Ming | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Knai-Fing | 73 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Garry "Musclemouth" Gomez | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Ting | +1.57 | 52 | 76 |
| #2 | Tai-Ming | +0.71 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | Knai-Fing | +0.49 | 53 | 22 |
| #4 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | +0.20 | 44 | 48 |
| #5 | Garlic ******* Hotline | -2.72 | 19 | 62 |





