








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
113 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 110 | 25% |
| Smokes | 175 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 132 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 24 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $76,394 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Ting | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Tai-Ming | 45% | 29 |
| #3 | Knai-Fing | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Ting | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Tai-Ming | 45% | 29 |
| #3 | Knai-Fing | 42% | 19 |
| #4 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Ting | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Knai-Fing | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai-Ting | 126 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #2 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | 57 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tai-Ming | 32 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Garlic ******* Hotline | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Knai-Fing | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knai-Fing | +1.81 | 69 | 28 |
| #2 | Tai-Ming | +0.99 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | Kai-Ting | +0.70 | 46 | 80 |
| #4 | Villy "Helm-Hamo-Head" Georgo | +0.03 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | Garlic ******* Hotline | -2.88 | 28 | 66 |





