








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 319 | 17% |
| Smokes | 606 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 329 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,209 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 蟾蜍公爵 | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | Senor VAC | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Beckoh | 51% | 57 |
| #4 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | SEBI | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SEBI | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Beckoh | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Uufunk | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | 蟾蜍公爵 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckoh | 279 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 194 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | 蟾蜍公爵 | 109 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Senor VAC | 44 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Uufunk | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckoh | +2.43 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | g3rd0 | +2.22 | 47 | 49 |
| #3 | Senor VAC | +1.76 | 62 | 73 |
| #4 | Uufunk | -0.97 | 56 | 56 |
| #5 | SEBI | -1.05 | 50 | 37 |





