








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 896 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1372 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1648 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 873 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,152 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jürgen Duman | 58% | 26 |
| #8 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 56% | 116 |
| #9 | Uufunk | 54% | 41 |
| #10 | SEBI | 49% | 45 |
| #11 | tec9meister | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 312 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Beckoh | 284 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | tec9meister | 81 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #4 | Uufunk | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | SEBI | 43 | 0.05 | 1 min |





