








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,112 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2101 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1335 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,376 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C H A R L I E L I E L I E L I E | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | .noname sn1tch | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Beckoh | 56% | 66 |
| #4 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 54% | 76 |
| #5 | 蟾蜍公爵 | 54% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | g3rd0 | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | Knochentrocken | 42% | 96 |
| #13 | YilmazGüzelAMK | 41% | 29 |
| #14 | kRIZZy | 41% | 51 |
| #15 | #bebe | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckoh | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | kRIZZy | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | YilmazGüzelAMK | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | SEBI | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Knochentrocken | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckoh | 332 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Knochentrocken | 242 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | timmuz | 217 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ♛DER RINGGENERAL♛ | 200 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | 蟾蜍公爵 | 155 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckoh | +3.44 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | C H A R L I E L I E L I E L I E | +2.74 | 73 | 77 |
| #3 | timmuz | +2.30 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | g3rd0 | +2.04 | 57 | 54 |
| #5 | .noname sn1tch | +1.55 | 61 | 68 |





