








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1933 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1602 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1502 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1335 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,402 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | LeXmaskinen | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | bjoerntastic | 47% | 17 |
| #11 | Steypa | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | golee^ | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | ✪HowCon-iwnl- | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dónakarl | +1.96 | 41 | 60 |
| #2 | Player1 | +1.91 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | W@ffle | +1.67 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | Indestructible | +1.58 | 54 | 74 |
| #5 | Aron Olafs*** | +1.22 | 63 | 66 |





