










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 179 | 30% |
| Smokes | 127 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 160 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 126 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $38,472 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morendiz | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Steypa | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | kreye$ | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | æla? | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | LeXmaskinen | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Indestructible | 62% | 13 |
| #8 | ✪HowCon-iwnl- | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Andri | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | ♥ JWalker ♥ | 0% | 2 |
| #11 | Smokey | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indestructible | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Steypa | 1 | 0.0208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Indestructible | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪HowCon-iwnl- | 20 | 0.34 | 0 min |
| #3 | æla? | 15 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | W@ffle | 15 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | LeXmaskinen | 13 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kreye$ | +7.76 | 62 | 52 |
| #2 | Indestructible | +1.82 | 62 | 74 |
| #3 | Andri | +1.57 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Morendiz | +0.38 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | ✪HowCon-iwnl- | -0.00 | 37 | 61 |





