








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2493 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2288 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2468 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $808,405 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | VacationGaminq | 52% | 60 |
| #7 | vodkabull0 | 50% | 131 |
| #8 | Nekare | 49% | 67 |
| #9 | Keruby | 49% | 35 |
| #10 | Swarox | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vodkabull0 | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Nekare | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | VacationGaminq | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Keruby | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Malnoir | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JsH | 283 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | vodkabull0 | 267 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kevon | 153 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Nekare | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Keruby | 89 | 0.12 | 2 min |





