








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 277 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,525 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1147 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2320 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3404 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1654 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $964,514 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 219 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Godypmu | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | Beatneck | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | screa | 54% | 70 |
| #4 | Vinum | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | r0x | 52% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | LoTTe | 44% | 18 |
| #14 | uNNNormal. | 43% | 28 |
| #15 | Marcyq | 43% | 42 |
| #16 | Kompetenz Klaus | 40% | 57 |
| #17 | El_Wiesel | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JONAZZZ | 14 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | reigNyQ | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | The_Proxist | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Marcyq | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Vinum | 5 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reigNyQ | 442 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | JONAZZZ | 401 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | hijo | 368 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | r0x | 266 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | The_Proxist | 212 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wasabi | +3.19 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | r0x | +2.32 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | Godypmu | +2.17 | 81 | 63 |
| #4 | JONAZZZ | +1.38 | 90 | 56 |
| #5 | reigNyQ | +0.57 | 85 | 59 |





