








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2616 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4123 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2958 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2243 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $916,520 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖎𝖐𝖐𝖆™ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | JangoUnbrained | 51% | 57 |
| #3 | Rob_the_b0b | 48% | 113 |
| #4 | Klausi | 47% | 68 |
| #5 | Rjd2 | 45% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | meowing for a living | 45% | 115 |
| #7 | lenerd | 45% | 152 |
| #8 | nks | 44% | 54 |
| #9 | Hasardeur | 41% | 261 |
| #10 | ☯ Chew1e is n1ce ☯ | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasardeur | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Rob_the_b0b | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | lenerd | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Rjd2 | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | nks | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasardeur | 725 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | lenerd | 410 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | Rjd2 | 376 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rob_the_b0b | 193 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Klausi | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕽𝖎𝖐𝖐𝖆™ | +3.19 | 59 | 63 |
| #2 | JangoUnbrained | +2.36 | 83 | 46 |
| #3 | ramb4 | +1.95 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | Rob_the_b0b | +1.29 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | lenerd | +0.82 | 62 | 65 |





