








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 136 | 12% |
| Smokes | 122 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 508 | 46% |
| Molotovs | 333 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,656 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maff | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Johnny Sins | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Salv | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Soulhacler | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | BirddIE | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Johnny Sins | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Salv | 49% | 55 |
| #4 | Soulhacler | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | BirddIE | 44% | 43 |
| #6 | Eldarkon | 39% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldarkon | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Johnny Sins | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salv | 135 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | Eldarkon | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | BirddIE | 67 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Soulhacler | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Johnny Sins | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salv | +3.01 | 48 | 67 |
| #2 | Johnny Sins | +2.62 | 24 | 51 |
| #3 | Eldarkon | -0.71 | 21 | 62 |
| #4 | BirddIE | -0.80 | 40 | 55 |
| #5 | Soulhacler | -1.71 | 15 | 54 |





