








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 576 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5575 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7429 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5057 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5024 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,951,330 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Sins | 54% | 278 |
| #2 | Eldarkon | 51% | 568 |
| #3 | Maff | 50% | 291 |
| #4 | Clownmask | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | BirddIE | 48% | 355 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Eldarkon | 51% | 568 |
| #3 | Maff | 50% | 291 |
| #4 | Clownmask | 49% | 55 |
| #5 | BirddIE | 48% | 355 |
| #6 | Soulhacler | 47% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maff | 26 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Eldarkon | 14 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | BirddIE | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Johnny Sins | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Soulhacler | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eldarkon | 1038 | 0.09 | 31 min |
| #2 | Maff | 954 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #3 | BirddIE | 707 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #4 | Johnny Sins | 442 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | Soulhacler | 112 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salv | +2.14 | 49 | 67 |
| #2 | Johnny Sins | -0.05 | 23 | 56 |
| #3 | Eldarkon | -0.31 | 19 | 64 |
| #4 | BirddIE | -1.35 | 36 | 58 |
| #5 | Soulhacler | -1.55 | 20 | 52 |





