








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 971 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 929 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6458 | 19% |
| Smokes | 11920 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 10788 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4799 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,063,078 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuNati | 41% | 162 |
| #2 | iLoLz | 40% | 139 |
| #3 | Hilly | 40% | 154 |
| #4 | SexyBears | 40% | 177 |
| #5 | Nixon_X | 37% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SexyBears | 40% | 177 |
| #5 | Nixon_X | 37% | 129 |
| #6 | BING CHILLING | 37% | 105 |
| #7 | Wizard Lizard | 32% | 109 |
| #8 | {SG}H0B0 | 32% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixon_X | 28 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Wizard Lizard | 12 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | SexyBears | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | VuNati | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Hilly | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VuNati | 708 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #2 | Nixon_X | 501 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | SexyBears | 382 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | iLoLz | 358 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Hilly | 296 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyBears | +1.89 | 52 | 62 |
| #2 | Hilly | +1.88 | 66 | 54 |
| #3 | Wizard Lizard | +1.34 | 13 | 36 |
| #4 | BING CHILLING | +0.02 | 39 | 56 |
| #5 | iLoLz | -0.08 | 52 | 68 |





