








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1067 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4496 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4057 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3623 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3143 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,359,422 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyBears | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | #WalletsUp4HenricoM | 45% | 40 |
| #3 | Claydooooo | 44% | 54 |
| #4 | THC | 41% | 162 |
| #5 | Hilly | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Hilly | 39% | 23 |
| #6 | {SG}H0B0 | 39% | 57 |
| #7 | Nixon_X | 38% | 119 |
| #8 | Wizard Lizard | 35% | 96 |
| #9 | BING CHILLING | 23% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nixon_X | 32 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Wizard Lizard | 10 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Claydooooo | 10 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | THC | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | {SG}H0B0 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THC | 509 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Nixon_X | 453 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Claydooooo | 154 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | #WalletsUp4HenricoM | 66 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wizard Lizard | 60 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claydooooo | +3.95 | 63 | 53 |
| #2 | SexyBears | +1.92 | 53 | 53 |
| #3 | #WalletsUp4HenricoM | +1.60 | 58 | 51 |
| #4 | Wizard Lizard | +1.51 | 13 | 36 |
| #5 | BING CHILLING | +0.96 | 28 | 52 |





