








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 120 | 21% |
| Smokes | 119 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 218 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $64,017 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majix88 | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Fate | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Friend Besto | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Porch a Geese | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Friend Besto | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | Porch a Geese | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Shiggy | 45% | 11 |
| #7 | jpas | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fate | 89 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | 52 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shiggy | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | jpas | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | Majix88 | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Majix88 | +7.71 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | Fate | +6.97 | 88 | 65 |
| #3 | a-10 goes brrrrrrr | +1.98 | 48 | 72 |
| #4 | jpas | -0.78 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Friend Besto | -1.38 | 87 | 42 |





