








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3294 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3958 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2932 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2555 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,512,717 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 894 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dyna | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | zck | 58% | 168 |
| #3 | Maasssaa | 57% | 171 |
| #4 | purple rain | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Steak | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zck | 21 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Maasssaa | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | purple rain | 8 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | Smoothie | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Dyna | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maasssaa | 475 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | zck | 349 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | DJ Farkeesh (Goblin Mode) | 139 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | Smoothie | 87 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dyna | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joops | +3.10 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Smoothie | +1.20 | 79 | 52 |
| #3 | Dyna | +0.48 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | Maasssaa | +0.19 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | Steak | +0.13 | 59 | 43 |





