








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1419 | 18% |
| Smokes | 792 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2925 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2599 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,029 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 861 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maasssaa | 59% | 34 |
| #2 | joops | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | !NANA | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | Feestinn | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | Abe Linkin | 51% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abe Linkin | 17 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | zck | 16 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Free Skyler Akins | 13 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | !NANA | 9 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Feestinn | 7 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zck | 304 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Abe Linkin | 276 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | !NANA | 242 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Maasssaa | 126 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Feestinn | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joops | +2.81 | 84 | 49 |
| #2 | Abe Linkin | +1.26 | 59 | 58 |
| #3 | Smoothie | +0.77 | 75 | 52 |
| #4 | purple rain | +0.65 | 60 | 29 |
| #5 | Maasssaa | +0.48 | 51 | 58 |





