








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 571 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8955 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5763 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 9413 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7554 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,712,881 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2675 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joops | 57% | 171 |
| #2 | Dyna | 54% | 92 |
| #3 | Steak | 52% | 116 |
| #4 | fluffyguyrocks | 50% | 211 |
| #5 | zck | 50% | 300 |





