










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 85 matches | 1,777 | |
| Faceit | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1220 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1123 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1108 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,837 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andycheck | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Arnibarni | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | Guddibear | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | yds | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | kongla | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eellie01 | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Andycheck | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Housewally | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | kongla | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | che | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Housewally | 393 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | eellie01 | 133 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | disco dreigen | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sinsin | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | che | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disco dreigen | +1.94 | 71 | 73 |
| #2 | Housewally | +1.92 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Arnibarni | +0.51 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Sinsin | +0.37 | 50 | 66 |
| #5 | Andycheck | +0.11 | 62 | 71 |





