








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 51 matches | 1,871 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 234 | 14% |
| Smokes | 498 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 476 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 468 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,551 of utility $315 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | che | 50% | 4 |
| #12 | Guddibear | 50% | 10 |
| #13 | Erleif | 50% | 20 |
| #14 | disco dreigen | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | KennyKvikkSkåp | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andy ¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | eellie01 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Oddity | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Guddibear | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | KennyKvikkSkåp | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Housewally | 212 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | Andy ¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ | 180 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | eellie01 | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sinsin | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | -QuickSilver- | 63 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | disco dreigen | +2.77 | 60 | 68 |
| #2 | Housewally | +1.38 | 67 | 75 |
| #3 | Arnibarni | +0.99 | 71 | 55 |
| #4 | Oddity | +0.88 | 51 | 60 |
| #5 | Sinsin | +0.71 | 46 | 63 |





