








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 297 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Esplay | 57 matches | 1,781 | |
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1148 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1709 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1683 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1871 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,821 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andycheck | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | paulydog | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Guddibear | 53% | 53 |
| #4 | kongla | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | Andy ¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ | 52% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paulydog | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Andy ¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Guddibear | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | eellie01 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | disco dreigen | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Housewally | 400 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Andy ¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯ | 187 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Guddibear | 119 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | eellie01 | 112 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | broderpimp69 | 64 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paulydog | +2.95 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | Housewally | +2.48 | 73 | 73 |
| #3 | broderpimp69 | +0.91 | 75 | 80 |
| #4 | Arnibarni | +0.50 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | disco dreigen | +0.45 | 67 | 71 |





