








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 621 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12166 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11093 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9794 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9055 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9596 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,701,135 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loliver | 68% | 151 |
| #2 | Scourge of Sciurus | 67% | 186 |
| #3 | Vollux | 66% | 122 |
| #4 | um | 62% | 406 |
| #5 | PanicEmu | 60% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Toitum | 59% | 182 |
| #7 | luka | 55% | 229 |
| #8 | erigb | 51% | 267 |
| #9 | KNOWN MALDER | 47% | 174 |
| #10 | Pandzilla | 45% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scourge of Sciurus | 46 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | um | 27 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | luka | 27 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Toitum | 24 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | KNOWN MALDER | 17 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erigb | 817 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | luka | 433 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | um | 348 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | KNOWN MALDER | 307 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | Scourge of Sciurus | 282 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scourge of Sciurus | +5.48 | 74 | 38 |
| #2 | loliver | +5.27 | 82 | 31 |
| #3 | Vollux | +4.79 | 83 | 48 |
| #4 | Toitum | +4.43 | 80 | 34 |
| #5 | manly nord | +0.82 | 67 | 62 |





