








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 273 | 23% |
| Smokes | 224 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 366 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 350 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,658 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1sonny | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | t0ss | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | DCX | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | deine mutter | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | XANTARES | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1sonny | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | t0ss | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | DCX | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | deine mutter | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | XANTARES | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ss | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t0ss | 196 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | DCX | 60 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | deine mutter | 32 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | 1sonny | 27 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | XANTARES | 1 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deine mutter | +1.23 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | t0ss | +0.51 | 66 | 68 |
| #3 | DCX | +0.48 | 67 | 52 |
| #4 | Demonio | +0.42 | 77 | 50 |
| #5 | 1sonny | +0.38 | 75 | 54 |





